When 70-year-old Margaret Roesch and her wife Patricia McAulay were ready to retire 10 years ago, they refused to accept any senior living that would force them to keep their love a secret.

The two knew they did not want to retire in Florida, where they lived at the time. After returning home to North Carolina, the couple began to lose hope, worrying they would be unable to find anywhere that fit both their need for accessibility and for a community they could be themselves.

“We grew up at a time when it wasn’t possible to be out, and we didn’t want to end up in nursing homes and things like that, because that just seems really grim,” Roesch said. “And we didn’t want to end up having to go back in the closet.”

When they couldn’t find a place that felt right for them, the two decided to create one themselves. Less than a year later, the idea for Village Hearth, the first cohousing neighborhood for LGBTQ+ identifying people and allies over 55 in the United States, was born.

From the hearth to the home

Cohousing describes a community-oriented, multifamily housing model where residents live in private homes but share larger communal living spaces like kitchens, gathering and outdoor spaces. According to the Cohousing Association of the United States, there are 269 of these communities across the United States, with 11 in the Triangle area.

Cohousing communities tailored to people over 55 or to LGBTQ+ individuals exist, but Durham’s Village Hearth remains the only community nationwide that caters to both. To Roesch, combining the two just felt right, as isolation is a growing issue in both communities.

The 15-acre, 28-unit neighborhood hosts over 40 residents, and Roesch said they have close-knit friendships with one another. Seven quads each have four single-story accessible houses. Ranging from 650 to 1,150 square feet, each cottage has a front porch and yards decorated with personal touches. Houses are private, yet share walls to make the development more environmentally friendly and affordable. Outside, trails cut through the neighborhood’s green space, connecting each pastel-colored home to another.

Village Hearth was established in 2015, but the project did not break ground until fall of 2018. In the meantime, Roesch and McAulay secured a location in North Durham, began to draw up designs and advertised the new community as much as possible.

In May 2020, the project became a reality, and the couple was finally able to move into the green one-story bungalow they’ve called home since.

For McAulay and Roesch, the date couldn’t come soon enough. The two became completely isolated when the COVID-19 pandemic shut down their worlds. Roesch had begun using a wheelchair, meaning she could not leave home to drive, and the two needed their dream of a place they could be themselves to manifest more than ever. When it finally did, everything changed.

“I’m very much an extrovert, and my partner’s very much an introvert,” Roesch said. “She’s a writer and a reader, and she can be away from people for days on end, and I need people contact several times a day. And once I got problems with my mobility, it became even more important, because I don’t drive anymore, and I need to make sure that I can get social contact quite a bit. So this setup is perfect.”

Resident Patricia Stressler and her wife, Tami Ike, looked for months at different cohousing communities. Village Hearth offered close proximity to an international airport, welcoming culture, medical care and easy access to the ocean and the mountains, and the couple became some of the neighborhood’s first residents.

From its interconnecting pathways and central community center, everything about Village Hearth was designed to foster spontaneous interaction, Roesch said. In the center of the neighborhood sits a common house, which includes a gourmet kitchen, an office, laundry facilities, rooms for arts, crafts and exercise and a large dining room, where residents take turns preparing Thursday dinners and meet each Friday for a happy hour.

The neighborhood is self-sustained and governs itself, with residents being responsible for upkeep and making decisions about rules.

“We feel like we’re kind of on the cutting edge of creating a more connected community,” Resident Janet Svoboda said.

Fighting isolation

In 2023, former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy identified social isolation and loneliness as important public health concerns, with older adults being at increased risk due to loss of loved ones, disability, lack of transportation access or worsening quality of life. For older adults, loneliness can exacerbate the risk of heart disease, dementia, stroke, anxiety and depression.

Kaitlin Shartle, an associate in research at Duke University’s Center for Child and Family Policy, found in a 2023 study that social isolation rates are approximately 15% for Americans aged 40 to 64, which then doubles to around 30% for those aged 80 or older.

According to SAGE, an advocacy group for LGBTQ+ adults 50 and older, around 70 million LGBTQ+ identifying Americans will be over 50 by 2030, and marginalized populations like the LGBTQ+ community are more likely to report experiencing loneliness as they age.

Whether it’s recovery from a medical procedure or putting together furniture, Svoboda said residents are always helping each other. But the biggest way they support each other, Roesch said, isn’t lending a helping hand with chores, but by simply being friends. Whether it’s playing a game of cards in the common house or going for a stroll into the community garden, Village Hearth residents are often spending time together.

“It’s those kinds of things that if I was living alone in an apartment, I wouldn’t know anybody to ask, and I would be so lonely, so depressed and so isolated that I would be in really bad shape emotionally,” Roesch said. “And so this is really helping me grow and thrive. In cohousing, the other wonderful piece is that you always have a chance to thrive.”

Becoming a safe space

Roesch knew that for many LGBTQ+ individuals looking for senior housing or a place to retire, the idea of having to once again hide their identity was less than appealing, but a reality for many. 34% of LGBTQ+ older adults fear having to re-closet themselves when seeking senior housing, according to SAGE, and 48% of LGBTQ+ couples have experienced negative treatment when seeking senior housing.

To combat this, Roesch said during the design process, she and McAulay were intentional about ensuring the neighborhood was outwardly, proudly inclusive. Roesch said she didn’t want the neighborhood to only say it welcomed LGBTQ+ individuals, like many cohousing communities, but to be completely committed to celebrating queer identities and a true safe space for its LGBTQ+ residents.

The community celebrates their identities regularly, going on group excursions in downtown Durham such as theater events at the Durham Performing Arts Center. Some have marched in Durham’s Pride parades together, proudly waving colorful signs created during a community event.

“It’s drawn folks who left other parts of the country where they weren’t accepted, where it wasn’t okay, but they wanted to feel in community,” Roesch said. “That’s what makes it so amazing, that it worked, and it’s working, and you know, we can fly a gay flag out there and people feel comfortable enough that this is a safe place for them.”